My therapeutic stance is one of neutrality. Some people want to stop certain behaviors, other to modify them, or others may seek to integrate them more fully into their lives. What’s taken is the obsessive pre-occupation, the shame, the self-blame, and the confusion.
What’s given is a therapeutic relationship with a seasoned and well-trained psychotherapist. What occurs within that relationship?
Some people have never in their lives talked to anyone about what they cherish and fear most. Keeping such a large part of you completely to yourself over the course of many years is a breeding ground for shame, guilt and confusion. Therapy lets light in through engaging in a non-judgmental, empathic, safe process. The therapeutic relationship is a sort of laboratory that examines the unconscious belief systems that used to help you psychologically survive early-life dysfunctional attachments.
Once these patterns are uncovered and understood, you will have the opportunity, through a variety of therapeutic interventions, to seek freedom. Rather than feeling enslaved by your desires, now you are in the driver’s seat. You are riding the horse – the horse is no longer riding you.
The ability to make choices empowers your sense of self and enhances self-esteem.
Therapy is an opportunity to have a “corrective” experience with a person that will, in the long run, make you less afraid of real intimacy with a real person and will help you stop spending so much wasted time in the “erotic haze” which is based exclusively on fantasy.
Compulsiveness and obsessive pre-occupation gradually diminish as together we discover and rework the irrational belief systems that have held you back from experiencing a life filled with choice, adventure, passion and joy.